Say what you want to say

at least I got a butterfinger out of it

"Passion has little to do with euphoria and everything to do with patience. It is not about feeling good. It is about endurance. Like patience, passion comes from the same Latin root: pati. It does not mean to flow with exuberance. It means to suffer."
-Mark Z. Danielewski

uaosdfja;skldfjaskldffff

I am such a mess.

1) waiting to hear back from the zoo about the internship. come on, zoo.
2) I am so lazy.
3) my room is a mess.
4) there are SO many people I have been flaking on lately. I hate it but I am such a wreck. 
5) there are so many cats in my house right now.
6) by "so many" I mean 2. going to be 3. Mabs is at my parent's house right now. The kitty list is: Maybe, Tuesday, and "Cat Granville", which is what we have been calling the cat that Granville sort of took away from his drunk friend because she was neglecting it.
7) I am so hungry.
8) I am so hungry I don't even want to eat.
9) this is the most pointless post ever.
10) I want to move to Japan.

So "Bucky" has been changed to "Boo Radley", which I am 100% in support of. I compiled a video of them being tards. Also I am a crazy cat lady and have no life. enjoy.



dees my babieeees!!!

Little Bucky being a goofball. Maya is talking about her Buffy the Vampire Slayer dream in the background.

Bucky

Billie got put down today. she had over 100 cc's of fluid in her abdomen, confirming it was FIP. she was 6 months old. Poor Maya. She's devastated. It happened so fast. I had to stay at work after and it really sucked. Now I'm home and numb and don't know i don'tknowidon'tknowidon'tknow.

guh

I'm sick.
So much vom on Saturday night. oh god. Now I just have a cold and it's ruining my life. My brain wants to out and have fun but my body is like...no. I want to exercise, move around, but I'm weak and hurty all over. Including my eyeballs. My eyeballs hurt. It's made work a fat headache.

Also Billie is really sick. My little sister's cat. I'm really scared for her. She's been vomiting and I told my mom to bring her in. In the two days before she got an appointment she wasn't eating her normal food. My mom has been feeding her tuna to get her to eat. She became lethergic and last night she was burning up. I told my mom it was potentially pancreatitis, a foreign object or something bad she ate. I was right, but we don't know which of these it is yet. Only some of her labs came back. She's incredibly anemic and has inflamation in her stomach and intestines. She's getting hospitalized tomorrow. We brought her home tonight and fed her chicken baby food, which she loved. I know if it was anyone else's cat I wouldn't be worried, but obviously since I have an emotional attachment to her, I feel panicked. There's a chance it's FIV, or even a string that she ate wrapped around her intestines. We won't know until tomorrow, when the full lab panel comes in. I'm hoping it's even some kind of parasite, since that would at least be easy to treat. Nothing looks good right now.  
She's Maya's pet, the little kitten we got her on Christmas after we had to give her dog away for being evil. I don't think my mom or Maya could go through that loss again, especially if it's death.
Come on, Billie Bones.

we aren't together. but we love each other. it's nice.

"it's like electronical chemicals or something"
-argyle

I'm at my parent's house again because I have like OVER 9000 appointments this week. Ok more like 2. but still. I left my phone at my house in NoPo soooooooooooooooooo F.
I'm FINALLY and ACTUALLY putting my art up at Tea Chai Te. I've been telling Ben I'd bring stuff in forever and sort of. Didn't. My parents let me use their super fancy printer and I bought some pre-cut mats, so now I have some nice looking 8x10 and 4x6 prints, 4 of which are matted, the rest just kinda floating. Also I'm putting up my huge-ass black nautilus peice. So...hopefully I'll make some money. F'real.

my hands are shaking my hands are shaking my hands are shaking
I didn't sleep again last night. I watched the sun come up and then managed to get a few hours in before my mom got mad. Every time I closed my eyes I would fall under the car. over and over. When I actually got up I was having a panic attack for no reason, but that's not uncommon. It just sucks.
my body is better but my brain is sick again.
I need to crawl into that tree before they cut it down. It's raining outside. That tree was so much. It's huge. It's dying. I want to go give it a hug but it's cold and raining outside and I'm already shivering inside the house.

I lost another pound.
this is so pathetic.

Dieses schöne Mädchen

this beautiful girl.

I want my ODS name to be Io. that is, i, o. Like one of the four moons of Jupiter.That's all.

right now is a gift. that's why it's called the present.

-kung fu panda.

oh and p.s., I had a catheter shoved up my piss hole last week and it was one of the weirdest and painfulest things ever. Then they pump your bladder full of stuff and you have to pee really bad and are in a lot of pain and have to move around so they can take x-rays and it feels like your insides are being stabbed by knives. And it took me two days before I could pee without having to stop every other second from the pain. Then they were like ok here's some towels go pee on the bed and I was like wtf bitch and then they were like ok you can have a bedpan but we have to get an x-ray of your urethra with urine in it so I had to pee in a pink bucket and it was really weird.
Never have that happen. The end.

oh and I think they accidentally shoved the first one into my vag because I felt a really weird sensation and then  they were like, well, we can't use that one, and then they shoved this other thing in me and I was like holy mother fucking shit that hurts and then something, like, stabbed me in the bladder, and they were like, see this little picture? that's your bladder, and that's the huge ass ball on the end of the tube that we just shoved inside of you knocking against the lining of your bladder so you probably feel like you have to pee and are in a lot of pain. Then they were like, well this one's a little big so let's put in a smaller one in and I was like ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?  So then they PULLED THAT ONE OUT and put in another one, and then let me fester in misery for like ten minutes, and then some lady comes in and is like, woah they shoved that one up pretty far, and I was like no shit sherlock, I think you just punctured my lung but it's cool.

so yeah then the rest of that stuff happened. Oh and I guess I'm fine, so I went through that for nothing, but at least I don't have to have surgery so yayyyyy. Now I'm going to go back to being tested for narcolepsy. My life is awesome.

This is a follow up to  my last post

( BUGS )



HOW THE FUCK DID SHE GET INTO MY ROOM? How long can australian walking sticks survive in eggs for? what the hell was she eating? Is that even an australian walking stick? She looks exactly like one. WHAT THE FFFF.

anyway, feedback is appresh'd. thankssss bug friends.
-Thea