02:29 pm - my pee story
oh and p.s., I had a catheter shoved up my piss hole last week and it was one of the weirdest and painfulest things ever. Then they pump your bladder full of stuff and you have to pee really bad and are in a lot of pain and have to move around so they can take x-rays and it feels like your insides are being stabbed by knives. And it took me two days before I could pee without having to stop every other second from the pain. Then they were like ok here's some towels go pee on the bed and I was like wtf bitch and then they were like ok you can have a bedpan but we have to get an x-ray of your urethra with urine in it so I had to pee in a pink bucket and it was really weird.
Never have that happen. The end.
oh and I think they accidentally shoved the first one into my vag because I felt a really weird sensation and then they were like, well, we can't use that one, and then they shoved this other thing in me and I was like holy mother fucking shit that hurts and then something, like, stabbed me in the bladder, and they were like, see this little picture? that's your bladder, and that's the huge ass ball on the end of the tube that we just shoved inside of you knocking against the lining of your bladder so you probably feel like you have to pee and are in a lot of pain. Then they were like, well this one's a little big so let's put in a smaller one in and I was like ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? So then they PULLED THAT ONE OUT and put in another one, and then let me fester in misery for like ten minutes, and then some lady comes in and is like, woah they shoved that one up pretty far, and I was like no shit sherlock, I think you just punctured my lung but it's cool.
so yeah then the rest of that stuff happened. Oh and I guess I'm fine, so I went through that for nothing, but at least I don't have to have surgery so yayyyyy. Now I'm going to go back to being tested for narcolepsy. My life is awesome.
Never have that happen. The end.
oh and I think they accidentally shoved the first one into my vag because I felt a really weird sensation and then they were like, well, we can't use that one, and then they shoved this other thing in me and I was like holy mother fucking shit that hurts and then something, like, stabbed me in the bladder, and they were like, see this little picture? that's your bladder, and that's the huge ass ball on the end of the tube that we just shoved inside of you knocking against the lining of your bladder so you probably feel like you have to pee and are in a lot of pain. Then they were like, well this one's a little big so let's put in a smaller one in and I was like ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? So then they PULLED THAT ONE OUT and put in another one, and then let me fester in misery for like ten minutes, and then some lady comes in and is like, woah they shoved that one up pretty far, and I was like no shit sherlock, I think you just punctured my lung but it's cool.
so yeah then the rest of that stuff happened. Oh and I guess I'm fine, so I went through that for nothing, but at least I don't have to have surgery so yayyyyy. Now I'm going to go back to being tested for narcolepsy. My life is awesome.